


Shadowed In The Headlight Glare

by Saral_Hylor



Series: 25 Seconds 'verse [4]
Category: The Losers (2010), The Losers (Comic), The Losers - All Media Types
Genre: Established Relationship, Family, M/M, Mortality Challenged Losers, Pining, Sequel, they're lives will never be normal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-21
Updated: 2014-02-23
Packaged: 2017-12-30 01:39:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,959
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1012502
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Saral_Hylor/pseuds/Saral_Hylor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When you can't die, life has no choice but to go on.</p><p> </p><p>Sequel to <i>(The Devil Doesn't Want Us and) Heaven's Bouncers Won't Let Us In</i></p><p> </p><p>  <b>Now with a sneak peak at the next story in the series.</b></p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I had requests to show their life after, and this is what I came up with. 
> 
> I hope people like it.

It was still dark when Cougar woke up, and there was that moment of quiet before the panic set in, that moment of peace when everything was still hazy with sleep. The moment ended when he jerked violently into full awareness. The bed beside him was empty.

He was out of the bed, tugging on jeans from the day before, gun in hand in an instant. Pausing, the sniper quickly surveyed the room; the windows were still closed, curtains open just enough to let in a sliver of moonlight, the door was closed over too. It hadn’t been when they’d gone to bed; there was no point shutting the door when they were the only two in the house.

Crossing the room as silently as he could, Cougar opened the door slowly and peered out. There was a soft light coming from down the hallway in the kitchen. Barefoot and silent he crept down the hallway, stopping just short of the doorway to lean forward ever so slightly and look into the kitchen. The sight inside the room made him relax, the panic ebbing away, only to be replaced by the sadness that seemed to be emanating from the occupant of the kitchen.

Jensen sat at the table so that he faced the two doorways and the window, his laptop open in front of him, the glow from the screen the only light in the room. Headphones hung around his neck, eyes fixed to the screen, but he knew that he wasn’t alone.

“Beth got a couple of kittens for her birthday.”

Cougar noticed the slight waver in the younger man’s voice. They’d missed the third birthday in a row; Beth had just turned twelve.

“ _Amor…_ ” Cougar crossed the room, setting the pistol down on the table beside the laptop, still within easy reach. He wrapped his arms around the hacker, cradling his head against his chest and bending down just enough to press a kiss against blond hair.

The laptop screen showed one of the latest photos that Jess had sent through, a picture of Beth, smiling brightly, cradling two kittens against her chest. One black with a white tip on its tail, the other a beautiful calico.

Jensen brought a hand up to cling tightly to Cougar’s forearm, leaning heavily against the other man. When he laughed it was a hollow chuckle, nowhere near his usual happiness. “She named them Jay-Jay and Carlito. She named the female kitten after me. Apparently, even according to my niece I’m the girl in this relationship.”

The sniper smirked slightly, running his fingers through Jensen’s hair. It was a struggle, being alive, having Jess and Beth know they were alive, but still not being able to see them. Cougar had noticed that it was worse around birthdays and holidays. It was different from when they were soldiers, when sometimes they couldn’t make it home for special occasions, but Jensen had always worked around it. There were countless times he’d come back after leave in February and talk endlessly about having celebrated Christmas with his sister and niece. That didn’t happen anymore. There weren’t random occasions to make up for all the missed time. They hadn’t seen Jensen’s family since before they got Max. Nothing except emails and the occasional phone call, which Jensen had assured him were rerouted all over the world and hidden deep enough that no one would be able to trace back to them.

“It’s not going to get easier, is it? For so long, it was just Jess and I. She looked after me when dad bailed out. So it was just us, then Beth came along, and I promised that I’d never abandon her. Never make her feel unloved or unwanted. It’s a shitty thing to feel, and I was never going to let her feel like that.” Jensen took his glasses off, letting them hang loosely from one finger while he rubbed his eyes. “And look what happened? Look what I did. I’ve abandoned her. I’ve abandoned them both. And just because it was reluctantly doesn’t make it any less fucked up.”

“It’s better than being dead.” Even as he said the words, Cougar couldn’t fight off the memories, the single gunshot that rang out across an abandoned field. The image of Jensen dropping to the ground; the blood stained crops; washing blood, brain matter and fragments of skull out of blond hair. The same blond hair he was running his hand through while standing in the bare kitchen of yet another cheap rental place, paid for in cash, in some town, in some country, at the arse end of nowhere, where the only prerequisite was the ability to get an internet connection.

There were a collection of memories that would haunt him forever; the screams, the heat of the burning remains of the helicopter against his face. The heady feeling of too much tequila and the greeting of a dead man’s grin, the hindsight that he should have seen the pain he was causing his best friend. The silent pulse point beneath his fingers, skin growing cold, and the fear that Jensen just wouldn’t come back. Standing at the edge of the crater and being sure that his fear had finally manifested into reality.

There were better memories that Cougar tried to focus on. The night crammed together in a sleeping bag trying to fight off the cold. Jensen’s heartbeat echoing against his spine. The very real, very alive pulse beneath his fingers. The rapid heartbeat caught in the palm of his hand. The proof of everything.

“Is it? Really? I mean, we’re drifting. It’s been three years and we still don’t have a purpose. Pooch is the only one we’ve kept in contact with, and okay, so maybe hacking ATM security cameras isn’t really keeping in contact with, but it’s better than nothing.”

Cougar placed his hand against the younger man’s cheek and tipped his head back so he could look into blue eyes, wide and damp with tears that he knew Jensen would maintain he was too manly to shed.

“This,” He made a small gesture between the two of them. “Is better than being dead.”

Jensen twisted awkwardly in his chair to loop an arm around his partner’s waist, pulling him closer still, pressing his face against his chest and just breathing. Breathing, because he could, because Cougar was right and he still worried, even after three years, that the sniper would realise what a mistake he’d made those years ago when they were huddled together inside a sleeping bag. One day Cougar would realise that all his bullshit wasn’t worth putting up with. That maybe he’d have been better off disappearing when Roque did, then he could have done whatever he wanted in life.

“Stop, _parlanchín_.” Cougar pulled back slightly, looking down at the blond, cupping his face in both hands. “I can hear you thinking. Stop.”

Jensen plastered on a grin, a mask, a defence; even after all this time together, he still instinctively put that wall up. “But, I’m brilliant, Cougs, I gotta think, always thinking. Admit it, it’s the only reason you love me. ‘Cause I’m a genius. Oh, and the sex, you know, I’m sure you keep me around because you wanna get into my pants.”

Cougar huffed in annoyance, narrowing his eyes to a glare, before bending down to kiss the hacker fiercely. A few years together, just them and no one else, and there was still doubt in the younger man. He tried to pour as much love, want and need into that kiss, to comfort, remind, reassure. He hated that doubt that still lingered after so long, and the people that had had a hand in causing it. “ _Te amo._ I go where you go. You know that.”

Jensen exhaled, long and heavy, not a sigh, but every bit a sign of relief. He brought his other hand up, resting it against the curve of Cougar’s ribs, letting his thumb stroke across his skin. He tried to push the smile back onto his face, but it faltered into a more genuine expression. “Still wanna have sex with me though, right?”

“ _Hacer el amor._ ” Cougar murmured, letting one hand slip back until his fingers threaded through his _amante_ ’s hair; it had grown longer than he usually let it get, but he probably wouldn’t get it cut until they moved again.

“God, you’re such a sap,” Jensen smirked, but tipped his head forward, pressing a kiss against the sacred heart tattoo on the older man’s chest. “But, that’s why I love you.”


	2. Sneak peak: I Don't Expect That You'll Be Sorry, But You Could Have Some Grace

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Teaser for the next story in this series. Enjoy!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this series is not over, and I now have another longer story planned out to go next. It's pretty exciting, for me anyway, I was worries that I wouldn't come up with another story for this series, but I have! :) 
> 
> Here's a sneak peak for all of you who are interested. This is the (current) beginning for the story, with just enough of a plot teaser, hopefully, to get people interested.

When the phone rang, Roque hadn't been asleep, despite it being two in the morning. The bottle of whiskey he'd systematically been trying to poison his liver with clattered to the wooden floor as he stood, skeptically eying the phone. It rang out once, untouched, then vibrated a missed call warning. He picked it up carefully, not recognising the number. It was sitting in the palm of his hand when it rang again, the same number as before. 

Roque answered it with a gruff "Hello." 

There was silence on the other end and all his instincts, even damped by alcohol, told him to hang up and smash the sim card because someone had to be tracking his location. But there was something about the silence, something familiar, and he knew who it was, even though it should have been impossible to tell someone by their silence. 

"Cougar?" 

"Roque." 

"So, guess the smug little bastard has been keeping tabs on me then. That's how you got the number right?" Roque rubbed his eyes. It had been five years, and twenty two countries, but he should have known that even slipping away in the dead of night wouldn't have stopped Jensen from tracking him down and knowing where he was. He'd switched phone numbers with every move, but then that kid had always been too smart for his own good. 

"Si." 

There was silence again, but he didn't know what to say, and knew that there had to be a reason behind the call, so Roque waited for the former sniper to filled the blanks. 

"It's Jake. He's gone." 

"Gone? As in dead and gone? But that little shit never stayed dead." He felt cold, and he wasn't sure how much of it was from Cougar's words or from the realisation that there was possibly a final death in all of this hell. He'd had five years to get used to the idea that he was never going to stay dead, it was a bit of a shock to think that one time he might. 

"No. Not dead. He was, and they took him away before I could get to him."

"So, he's in a morgue? Buried?" 

There was silence for a while longer, he could almost feel Cougar's distress coming over the phone. 

"He woke up. In the morgue. He got taken from there. I couldn't get to him before they did." 

Images of past missions, that he'd long tried to wipe from his memory, pushed against the backs of his eyelids. Images of times before when they'd had to go in and extract one of their team who had been caught, of Jensen coming back with broken fingers, Cougar coming back pale and half starved, quieter than usual. Pooch with a broken leg. He pushed them out if his mind, trying to focus on the situation at hand. "Who took him?" 

"Scientists, maybe government. They know he was dead, then he wasn't and no injuries. They know." 

"Fuck! Where are you guys? I'm guessing this means we're getting the team back together, hey?" 

"Russia. Pooch and Clay are already on their way." 


End file.
